Elucidating Questions

So easy to forget me and put me on the shelf.

Easy to pretend I don’t exist and turn off the messages.

So easy to erase everything I am with disregard and silence.

So I wake up in tears and you wake up just fine.

I should look at you and be glad you’re not hurting.

I should be able to put away my pain and let you be happy without me

Without me

I’ll live through it

I know I’ll live through it

I don’t want to should be an acceptable answer but it’s not

I love you but it’s not good enough

Forgiveness didn’t even factor in I can forgive every little thing over and over again

But it never matters.

Shaking hands and muscles tired.

Working minimum wage in my dreams for free.

I think my cat is sick.

She was lying on the couch.

They always visit before they go.

Nightmares.

I know you lie but I have no fight and I don’t want to make more and more and more mistakes

I just don’t want to be alone anymore.

I keep begging for someone to come help me get up and

They try so hard with rainbows and little things

But I keep sinking and I feel so greedy asking for more

Why do I feel so lonely and alone when things that make me smile keep happening

Where are you?

Why aren’t you here it’s so easy

It’s too easy

Right?

The world beat me to a pulp and no one wants to help me with the pieces

And every relationship I’m just too desperate for

So they all pull away

The more I need someone the less someone is here

The more I need company the more alone I am

Tell me how to be secure in a life no one wants to connect to

Tell me why everyone leaves and no one wants to come back

They told me if I let them go they’d come back but no one ever does

Fly away

Flying away

Goodbye forever

Every time

I want you to stay please stay I stopped begging

Silent I watch them all walk.

And he was never coming to begin with.