Elucidating Questions

How am I sitting up here when it feels like my head’s on the floor

Spots of red in my vision

Never as far as I think I am

Surrounded but living a different reality than all those people standing

Is it a panic attack I’m hiding from or just everything I wonder.

The constant burning ache of my entire body

The light and the world outside my eyes.

Drawing quietly into myself.

I can’t see or hear anything else

I want to fly away but something always catches me

Stop flying or get back here or what if they get lost I wouldn’t know anything

It swings into words that sting but I try not to hear them instead just the beat or the tune or something else

But no where else is safe.

I can’t find somewhere safe to be me.

I can’t be what you want from me.

Because these strange things that happen in tandem

I don’t know what the point is I think maybe I never knew

I wanted to.

Now the plan I was already on, the back track.

Nothing went according to plan so maybe the sun should stop planning.