Elucidating Questions

I can’t say he does it for me.

Standing at the window in shadows he breaks through so I say

When you do that it makes it seem like you’re shining out for me

He shines brighter

So do I laugh along or look up at the streaming clouds he’s burning away

Thoughts of tangled limbs.

Thoughts of love and acceptance and affection.

Possible things and impossible things.

I can let my mind wander to him because at the very least I have something he can take.

I can’t let my mind wander across the strait.

This tiny land I used to call home

No I used to sit on the shore and say it felt like a cage I was always in a cage.

The likelihood of him finding me and loving me or at least liking me and thinking we’re close enough but far enough to be safe or something

The likelihood of words.

The likelihood of none of that and it being the same padded feet that wander in again.

I’ll take anything

Give me what I want is so before when I thought there was possibility.

I don’t care just send them around back I’ll meet them at the door

I don’t care who I open it to anymore

Because it’ll never be the right person.

The likelihood of that.

Impossible.

But I’ll take what I can get because I’m desperate, sad, and lonely.

So send me anything.

I’ll take it because it’s all I get.

I’m still asking him the questions I wish I could ask.

I’m still waiting for nothing.

I’m still dead last.