Elucidating Questions

I don’t like being broken.

Wallowing in self pity for my design and rubbing out the tears that don’t fix the pain.

How many pills do I have to take.

Just give me a number or I could take them all.

Why do I have to face this all alone with myself every day?

I’m exhausted by the pressure of my own hate for everything.

Myself.

The pain.

In a room where all the memories will walk away and it wouldn’t matter anyways

If I had the option not to throw them away

It’d be hours of pain I’d remember and nothing else

Sometimes I wonder if it’s better to live in the pain constantly and never remember it because I already live it so

What would be the point of remembering pain that doesn’t go away.

These wonderful people who sing about how every day is a blessing

I used to think they were right.

But I’m on the outside I’m not welcome to life

I’m not welcome to have anyone along with me

I’m not welcome.

So why am I here? Why do I have to do this?

I don’t want to.

Wasn’t that an acceptable answer?

It was fine when anyone else said it but me.

I can’t believe this is the life I was born to live.

It’ll be funny when it’s over.

I wish it was over.