Elucidating Questions

I’m not supposed to care

Care that he never replies

I’m supposed to hide it or it’s supposed to be gone

But the silence gets to me every day.

It gets to me and I don’t know what to do with myself alone in a room.

Pacing back and forth I yell at myself and hate myself.

I try to make do with what I have, but there’s nothing here to do with.

The clock keeps ticking and even the music doesn’t change the silence of the room.

Pain tells you you’re alive.

So I’m alive.

All the reasons he’s made for why he’ll never care.

Why he can’t.

I can’t get the words right.

They say you can’t sink that ship,

But it’s gone and it’s under the waves far beneath.

It’s all such lies and I can’t hear them because I’m either the exception of the truth.

If the next song is proof.

It doesn’t matter it just eat me alive.

A love with no words and a love that’s a lie.

Can’t get the words in an order than solves any problems. Can’t find a way to make my own way in the silence.

It hurts.

I’m alive.

What a privilege.