Elucidating Questions

Impatient

He says it often

Scoff, snicker, grin.

Turning away to leave I think

Jerk.

Because I know he’s right that’s why.

And gone in a flash I know he doesn’t exist in a place where I’ll ever have him in my arms or be able to feel and see and understand.

You’re only allowed because you disarm me with yourself and I know you don’t mean it like

I can’t wait

I know you mean it like

Waiting in agony watching the clock

Seeing the seconds tick by tick tick

Minutes hours days weeks

In meaningless slots of time set aside

To wait.

You don’t hear the ringing in my ears as I look up and think I want to help them

Take their pain away they’re all so sad.

I’m sorry you lost someone.

It got louder in here though not quieter.

How long until it’s so loud I can’t hear anything else?

Why?

I’d take it from you if I could

Fill the cracks of your heart with gold because the most beautiful pottery is shattered and put back together.

Woven in between the fractures filled with warmth and comfort.

Love.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

Sent in every direction I can think of

I love you

In one.

You’re there somewhere,

I hold out a hand I have to say something

I’m so sad,

But for profound reasons I cannot ever explain and I’m sorry,

I am.

I’m sorry you lost someone.

I love you.