Elucidating Questions

Inconsistent perceptions of nothing

Only something in the dream.

The words I could say don’t seem to matter so I lock them away.

They surface occasionally

The want the need the I love yous

How could I bring you to my door

I find myself wondering

Before I cut my own wings and shut myself off.

If I hear it in reality it breaks me too quickly.

Never.

Never never never never.

Ending on a note that I don’t like in a place I didn’t start

The words creating a whirlpool of feelings I never asked for.

To look at it from afar

Spitting out this and that and

You’re so beautiful I love you

But that’s the same the same as millions more I don’t know why I thought I was different

Who knows.

I can’t be.

Never never never.

It’s on repeat, like there’s no escape from the dip in the centre that throws you out on to the cement on the other side.

Starting on a low note

Ending farther beneath.

Starting on a high note,

I’ll push myself off the platform.

Get the fuck down and shut up.

He’s not listening.