Elucidating Questions

I’m trying to make you proud

Even when you come in angry and I have no context

To be gathered over the next few days but

I don’t know how to do it,

You are crying I can feel it but I don’t know how to help.

I feel so small and empty here

I don’t know how to put a smile on your face that smile

That we all miss so much.

It did matter.

All of it did.

Just that we don’t know what to do now without you.

You heard him breaking right? He wasn’t laughing at you.

The weight of you staying and trying to hold up the world. The way you come back in a flash and I know when you’ve been gone

But you’re gone.

It’s not about any of those things

And I know you tried.

Because I’m trying too, every day through the pain and the tears

But we’re stopped here.

You were sick and dying

And I am sick and dying

It doesn’t mean you lost or you failed

It just means we all lost you

And so many don’t know where to go

I don’t know how to do this right

I don’t know how to take all of this and make it whole.

The world is incomplete without you

The world will always be incomplete without you

I miss you.

Please don’t cry.