Elucidating Questions

What it comes down to,

Is that I was wrong.

If we were meant to be he would have seen me and it would have been easy

But he didn’t see me.

I was wrong.

The realisation that I’ve been wrong not just for months

But for years of stupid childish imaginings

I turn around in this dark space and there’s no one here.

It’s just me.

I get to spend the rest of my life knowing how wrong I was.

Realising he would have wanted me if I was right.

But I wasn’t.

Hundreds of mistakes poured out into the web

At least no one will find them

I hate myself

Because I know I’m wrong and I still want him

I wish I’d been right

I wanted to see him live happily ever after

I get to see everyone else find their one.

I should be happy for them

But the tears won’t stop

I’m sorry it was an accident

I really am so good at fucking up.