Elucidating Questions

I think it every day, but these day it gets written less and less

But sneak attack mornings with dreams that went too well

I wanted to see you.

When you went away I wanted to see you.

When you didn’t just show up I wanted to see you.

When you never replied I wanted to see you.

I wanted to see you every day before this one,

I used to imagine stupid things like you’d ever end up on this sad rock.

Now it’s like this background process

I keep trying to force quit it but when I’m not paying attention

I still find myself dreaming about the impossibility.

Awakening with a snap and a shake of my head

Nighttime dreams I get trapped in.

I wake and it felt so safe and happy and right

Even though nothing in my dreams is ever right.

Are you crossing field or am I imagining it

Are you here or am I imagining it

It’s just the same soundtrack I’m ignoring.

I can’t ever completely let you go

It just won’t happen.

I still think it.

You’re one for me

I’m one of millions for you.

I know I’m not special, but it still hurts and I wish it wouldn’t.

I want to see you

But what did wanting ever do for me?