Elucidating Questions

Hope turns into fear, when the mind is used to having doors shut in front of it.

Waking up from conversations never had, wondering why it won’t leave me be.

The big communal household I dream of is a dream only, but it works in my mind.

Idyllic dream worlds with kinks.

Always something to do or save.

For some reason I can do it.

I wish I had that life,

But wishes for one don’t save the other.

Dreaming to wake up out of this daily something

Into a life where the love is felt.

Silly dreams that will never be seen during the day.

Words never said.

Things I’d rather say to him anyways.

The only thing I can think of is that you’re late.

Because if you’re never coming then none of it will be worth it.

I’ll simply be existing again.

I couldn’t fall asleep out of fear.

Once I got there I was merely dragged into more falsities.

Waking up from them is hard.

Knowing it’ll never happen.

You always have his face.

It’s cruelty for once I’m awake.