Elucidating Questions

I still love you

Is something to say now,

Or I suppose I’ve loved you for years, but it wasn’t like I said anything until before now.

But now,

Even when the light never turned green and it hurts like hell and there’s no way to get through to you

You don’t want to be got through to, or else you would have welcomed me with open arms

But I still love you.

It hurts when everyone I meet isn’t you

It hurts when someone I meet reminds me of you

It hurts when I think about what I must have done to come this far

What lie?

I keep trying to sift through because I keep hearing

Or feeling

Or seeing

Lies.

Liar.

But I didn’t. I just wrote what I felt at the time so if my feelings were a lie then I’m stumped.

But I still love you.

If I was still as stupid as I was I’d still be sending you message after message and hoping you see but you never see me.

I know I wouldn’t know what to do, I don’t even pretend or imagine meeting you anymore it hurts but I know I love you

I know because it hurts the same.

I know because I used to sit in a box saying thousands of things to the person who I loved more than anything talking in hopes he’d talk back

I know because I still love him and hope he’s happy, I love you.

In love with you, I don’t know.

I killed the passion because it felt wrong to want you in that way when you don’t even care to know my name

So I ignore it and when it creeps in I squash it

But I love you.

I care about you, I will always care about you,

And I may have things I want to yell at you, but those are that thing.

I don’t know if I have any right.

I still love you.

I’m still sorry I am who I am.

I wish I was who you wanted.

I’m sorry, I still love you.