Elucidating Questions

I just wanted it to be over,

Every day from the day I got back until the the first.

I wished and prayed and begged.

It never came true and my life fell down around me.

Trying to keep it together when I have nothing outside of do this and say that.

The sudden get up because what if.

The current dragged me in.

I let it because I didn’t have anything to live for.

It can be reigned in it just hurts that there wasn’t even a moment where it all got turned back on me

It’s just slowly falling, slowly, into the hole I’ve dug myself in advance without knowing it.

I don’t know why I decided it was a good idea to throw my already trampled heart into a fire

But surprise surprise it didn’t work.

Just like everything else.

This year of failure after failure after failure.