Elucidating Questions

No.

Skip.

Stop.

What do I want to hear?

Something that will take away the pain for a second,

Or three minutes and fifty three.

Or four minutes and twenty five.

But I can’t think of one, all the songs I used to use for background something just to keep me separated from the outside world

Afraid of every stranger like I am

They started becoming

About me, I hope you end up alone you’re going to be alone and it’ll be your fault

Those things that are in every one

It stopped being about either no one, or just a way to vent a feeling,

To being about me.

Because it’s not like any evidence otherwise ever presented itself.

Now I have them on my head, silent, hearing the mechanical clicks of a wireless connection

I try to remind myself how I used to hear music but I can’t and I don’t think I’ll ever

Ever really be able to go back to that,

Do my actions speak louder or my words?

I don’t remember either,

But my ears know how to hear only the sound of criticism

The rest of it goes in one ear out the other or really just hits the

Proof

That I’m not a firework or a dancing flame or a dreamcatcher or a person who gets what it needs or wants.

So, I either end up changing it out of disdain for the lies I believed

Or out of pain from being forced over and over and over again

To realise that I’m a terrible person,

And how quiet it is all alone.