Elucidating Questions

I’m not aiming for anything.

I’m not particularly trying.

After all it’s not that I don’t want to,

Or that I don’t want to try,

It’s that I don’t think I can do anything.

I don’t believe in me.

I don’t think anything will change and I can’t face the heartache of trying every day all alone

I can only take it on and go

And it hurts

And I already hurt all day every day so

I can’t find a way in which I’ll be able to live comfortably and happily.

Every step up you lose a step,

I can’t get out of my head

I laughed at it after a while because I didn’t want to admit how much it still applied but when it could be used against him

I realised how sad it was.

Explaining things that no one asked about that don’t need to be explained.

If it never rained again I know I loved it with all I had.

The regret is that to me it’ll never be enough.

The pain is that it never really mattered.