Elucidating Questions

Stuck here with the boundary I can see

Stuck here right between something and nothing

It could be purgatory,

But what is being purged?

I’m not where I want to be,

I’m not with whom I want to be,

I’m not even where I would have wanted to be if I hadn’t even tried

Hadn’t ever caved.

I had a fever,

Is that really it?

It was all started by insomnia and a fever and too much silence

And whatever the fuck happened

To get me locked in my room.

All that weird shit that happened

And every day ends and my heart breaks every night as there’s nothing

But it was always my fault

I must have done something

To deserve nothing

So I must not have been good enough

Try again.

I’m too tired for bitter

But I’m not allowed to cry or what will everyone think?

So tired of feeling like every sound is something.