Elucidating Questions

It’s louder again.

Whatever it is.

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday

Like an over excited sales man on a 90s commercial.

What about it it barely existed or do you mean this or next or the next after that

See there’s no god damn context.

It’s coming.

What?

You’ll see.

Bang.

This isn’t “you will be visited by the ghosts of Christmas past”

This is “Look out!”

For what?

And then nothing until it hits whatever it hits

What do I hear?

Do I hear the gears of a mind or the bubble of the magma or the way the earth shifts or

What is it

That makes me see, hear, think, feel

I never saw it coming

No I did I just didn’t know what “it” was.

I knew of an it.

Sometimes I get clues.

Magnitude or fire or something like a string on repeat

Sometimes it’s just

A sigh and I know in that moment

It’s him seeing it.

“My work is never done”

If I ask how many he says “just watch”

And when I say they were all important he says

I know.

He and she and they are connected to the

Nameless something

The narrator or the centre of the centres or

That element of the stories the

What’s that word again?

Omnipresent immanence inserting itself into our stories of our lives and the lives of others

In the human story about

Existence

That one

You, you there

I always get this feeling of

“What I was already paying attention”

I wonder how much attention it can possibly possess to be always always

Always

Paying attention but

Often I hear how they think you hate them

Does the ocean hate the person who drowned within it, or was it helpless to save them?

Are your hands tied?

Do I have hands?

Touche.

Is it lonely or are there actually more than one of you

Am I really the first?

A glance, or a shift in focus

But still paying attention

There are no eyes no face no voice no matter

Simply it answers

One of them.

The focus was so far away I cannot comprehend unless I am bigger than the sun than the system than the galaxy than the spider web

But where is the core?

Stop looking inside

You will only find the intricacies of

This number doesn’t exist

Many?

Trillions to the power of 500?

This is the one that,

Where doesn’t exist.

The questions no one thought of, or

Didn’t bother to answer.

Why is no one

A person?

Not a person a…

It’s an emotion.

When I cry the juxtaposition of children crying

So young, so little, you do this because you don’t understand

But if I ask what I don’t understand

The sun catches my eye.

I don’t rise

From its perspective we are ridiculously obsessed with the actions the sun does not take

But the actions the sun appears to take from our perspective

We describe actions

That don’t happen.

I’m too little.

I feel like a child in front of this

I’m not in front of it am I in it? Within it?

So many questions

Where is the core?

What is life?

Why are life and love locked in a duel between fates and time and death and light and dark and ocean and sky?

So many

Unanswered questions.