Elucidating Questions

If I could say anything to you now,

It would be that I love you.

And I’m sorry.

I didn’t ever do anything or say anything with the intent of hurting you or harming you I

Am sorry.

I wish I could explain everything

Or start over

Or know when or if… If it even started.

Or…

I at least know you have someone to hold on to should your nights grow long

Or the hours start aching past.

And most of all I just want you to feel loved because of all the people who love you.

I’m just one more.

I’m sorry I can’t promise I won’t be drunk or desperate again

I’m sorry I can’t promise the silence won’t get to me again.

I’m sorry because I know you were fine before I showed up.

And while I miss you every day,

If I stop being selfish for five seconds I’m just happy you’re alive and healthy and

Regardless of my own pain or missing someone I’ve never met or falling in love with just your voice and the soul portrayed by it

I wish I’d been satisfied with that.