Elucidating Questions

But I never realised it was all squared away.

I never wanted all of it to happen this way.

There’s no answer but I do have some love.

The messenger keeps screaming from somewhere up above.

The ringing in my ears that won’t fade away 1:23

It changes shades and shapes from within

The spades all coming loose.

I loved you so, but there you go,

And it’s my year without you

Anew.

Who did I run to first to check on and why?

It’s still too sharp to look the me of last year in the eye

I’m sorry

This is what I have to show for a year of fighting

Alone

I thought we’d be better off now,

Somewhere over there I’d have a job and a life where the people who were right would always find me

And no,

There’s no replacement for the one light that goes out

I know you can’t sleep we haven’t slept for weeks.

It’s burning so low I can’t doubt the message.

Do you see how hard I’m trying to keep the flame lit?

I wish I could make it burn brighter but,

One year ago today

Your entire world changed and,

You’re going to go to work and pretend everything is okay

But we all know that’s not the way so,

Good luck.

Enjoy Japan,

When you’re me again you’ll wish it was all a dream we could wake from.

If only I could wake up to a different morning

July 20th 2017.