Elucidating Questions

I used to have Marianas Trench for nights like this I’d just listen to them and when the days were too much like the nights I had them

I never let myself scream at anybody anymore Linkin Park was nostalgia, and even though I loved them they never quite spoke to me like

That band whose every song you have and know the words to

A safe place to hide but

I traded my safe place away as the nights grew worse

It was going to end up like this from the start

Of course it was.

No manner of begging or pleading was going to turn

It was all

A trick.

I let my mind play tricks

And the reality fueled every second

I can’t even begin to explain all that happened I remember seconds of days hours so long I spent all alone at the back door

Waiting.

What are you waiting for?

I know what I’m waiting for because like it or not those months are gone and I will never be able to explain it with a straight face

And I look at the wreckage that’s left

The cavern just moved, he always came in and wrecked it but it came with me when I left

I didn’t want the treasures from the start I wanted the treasures to be open doors to other peoples’ hearts but

It’s the reason no one wants me

Or the reason that those who do never go outside

It’s not worth it

I’m so tired of being alone and inside.

Tell me, please tell me,

How I’m supposed to get help after everything that happened?

Where it comes from who I can trust because it hurts so much to

Be liked because

He keeps them at arm’s length

I didn’t fucking want them anyway

But I beg and I plead and I just need

I fucking need you

But you’re gone and I put so much of me into loving you and loving everything you made I

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put me back

Sorry I’m invisible.

You all make me feel so invisible.