Elucidating Questions

My life’s a joke for someone to laugh at once it’s over.

Tried so hard to raise the family and did a shit job.

Tried so hard to be able to sing and lost the ability because I couldn’t find anywhere I could sing.

Learnt Japanese only to spend my entire life on the wrong fucking island.

Fell in love only to be hated and unwanted.

Fucked and then disregarded.

Loved only to find that when love was needed it was never there.

Sentenced to be forgotten

The last thing on everyone’s mind.

Wanted to find friends and a lover and enjoy life

Spent every day on an endless monotonous repeat of

Awake

Alone

Work

Alone

Asleep

Awake

School

Alone

Work

Alone

Sleep

Awake alone school work sleep alone alone alone alone

I can count on two hands the people I have seen or spent time with

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Times spent and people spent with.

Assured from the other side of the screen that I’m the problem and I’m the only one who can fix it but

No one will tell me how

You don’t understand how much I don’t want tomorrow

One more day of this and telling myself

It’s worth living for

This unending nightmare

I can’t wake up from.

No one to hear how much I cry

Please don’t make me go I’m so tired

But nobody’s listening

And I never get what I need.