Elucidating Questions

I don’t care what he brings with him as long as we can laugh together.

I don’t care what he brings with him as long as we can sing together.

I don’t care what possible mistakes could be made as long as we can bake and cook together.

I don’t care what baggage or past scars show up as long as we can walk together on the beach.

I don’t care what happens in the future possible turbulent moments as long as there are future possible moments in the dark where we touch and hold on to one another

Even if we’re not sleeping.

I don’t care about the pains never spoken that he carries thinking it would keep someone away I just want to hear about it and kiss him until maybe it doesn’t hurt so much anymore

I want to dance like we’re both too stupid to care when the music is playing or maybe when it isn’t

I want to know him even if he thinks it’s better I don’t or I’d be better without him because every day has been hell since I first wanted him and realised

There was no one like him.

Not one who wanted me anyways.

It’s all just who I wish I was with right now,

As four in the morning ticks by,

And I still have no one.

I wish it could be night forever, so that when I did sleep I could just dream for eternity.

Because he’s there sometimes,

Only in my sleep.

A phantom attached to no one, no one I have ever met.

Once half your life is gone and you haven’t met him yet you realise every day is one day less of the time you have together

And it all begins to seem pointless,

I thought that you’d be here by now.

So here I am trying to find you…

But what’s the point?

As each day ticks away into nothing and I know

If you’re not looking for me there’s no reason to try anymore.

So I’ll just mourn the loss of days lost that I could have spent with you,

Every day wasted without you

Every breath wasted without you

Everything is meaningless without you…

Where are you?

Are you really somewhere out there?

Or did I really just dream it all during the day?

It’s okay I’ll cry myself to sleep again.

Why do I miss you so much if you don’t exist?