Elucidating Questions

Every time I get angry

I taught myself

So that he won’t explode

Just hurt yourself

Every time I want to point barbs

I just point them at myself

That way no one gets hurt

No one gets hurt

Unaffected by my life in any way,

Continuing through summer and music and friends and family and animals and fun

On a scale from 10 to -10

Can’t I just have a 1?

Even just a 1?

I don’t know why he’s zero, but I love him all the same and I don’t know why he keeps trying to be -10 but I swear it’s not him

It can’t be.

But I don’t know why.

I keep checking looking around

Trying to take it in

So maybe I could find just…just anyone at all I don’t care

No more fghting over me and what I should do

I still feel like an equal to them but not to the person and the person’s friend behind me on the sidewalk.