Elucidating Questions

The rush to get nowhere in the continuing silent argument

But what was I to do when I wasn’t given chance to speak?

At least to explain and properly lay out the meanings without the judgement

I never did judge you I waited in the never changing moment to do so until there was nothing left of me

I let the silence consume me as everyone detoured around my body on the ground

No bystander to hold out a hand

In fact I’m mostly independent mostly self sufficient mostly I do everything on my own anyways

But I looked to the sky and I said

But I am saying I’m at the point where I need someone

But everyone has something else to do

Why is this justice? Am I truly being punished for being afraid of my father?

If I don’t face him…

You’ll take everything away from me?

But he says he doesn’t know why I wouldn’t want to talk to him

And every time I sit across from him I’m faced with twenty years of

Him…

I don’t want to be his wife again…

Why am I being punished for trying to be free of him?

But at this rate I’ll have no where to start from…

So I guess I had better be a good little emotional support for my father

Or else I’ll be all alone just like him.

And you always make me face him alone.

All I wanted was for someone to for once hold my hand,

So I would know I wasn’t alone.

But you always find a way to put me back in a room

Where the old man who holds all the cards sits across the table

And puts me through hell.