Elucidating Questions

Why didn’t you kill yourself?

I ask and its point blank because we do this, it’s how this sort of relationship works.

He looks over blankly.

Goes over aspects of his life that may have led to a feeling like that he looks up and to the left

He’s thinking of those nights that went on for years too but he looks back and he says

Because I got angry.

I wasn’t sad.

He says

They took from me.

I say,

I attempt to give everything and it never works.

It diverges and then I figure out the inner working of his mind while trying to ignore mine because

He still holds his head up high and knows he’s not beneath just because they have more and I don’t know how

Maybe writing a strong person is all I can do

Just like all I can do is write a person who experiences love

I can’t be or have either.

I’m never invited.