Elucidating Questions

The famous play pretend all day long.

You say want something

Like what? A car?

So I can get to places where there is still no one to talk to but at least I won’t be where I am?

And in wanting the car does it create my ability to work hard enough to ever be able to find the resources to not only have a car but be allowed to drive it?

I don’t want

When they say hold on

To what?

I already asked to who

The answer was yourself.

I can’t stand myself why in the living hell would I hold on to myself are you daft?

So what then?

Tomorrow?

When I wake up oh I know I’m going to be the one standing behind the counter and nothing more than a being to which things are done dispensing the same script every day

I know I’m going to be thinking about being able to pay rent. I know I’m going to be worrying about things I said. I know I’m going to think of him. I know I’m going to want to talk to him and he won’t want to talk to me. I know I’m going to go home alone, wake up the next day,

And stare up at the ceiling or at adults playing pretend all day long,

And then go to sleep and repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

So

What then if not who?

And why?