Elucidating Questions

Once upon a time I thought you were the one,

Because I’d loved you from first sight, I always felt like I knew you, and the strangest things happened

It all seemed to fall in line

I mispoke, second guessed myself, stumbled and fell.

Over excited over enthusiastic over whelmed

It came at a steep price.

And the expectations, that I would be wanted, were far too high.

In the moments the silence says nothing I still find hints like nudges like

Don’t you think?

But I am far too afraid of the magnitude of that thought or that feeling to look it in the eye anymore

It just makes me feel as though I had the chance to know the person who could have been everything

And I must have done something to deserve it being taken away.

I followed along like I was told, did as I was told, recorded what I was told.

In between pieces of me in the words I wrote which may be in a pile of refuse now but I know that they said,

In the book.

You always sing me up,

When it was a lie I tore it out.

I will always love you,

When it started hurting I tore it out.

I will send you love every day so you never have to feel as alone as I always do,

When it didn’t matter anymore I tore it out.

There’s nothing for me to lose,

But clearly you still have something to lose

Or that. Line. Would leave me alone.

No matter how quiet the silence I’m in gets,

I know how to avoid falling in love again,

And nothing ever changes even when I do.

So just like I promised,

In the pages of the book I tore out that I wanted to give you,

I’ll spill my heart until I die.

And it’s all still for you.