Elucidating Questions

I’m so tired of people telling me to talk to someone else so that they can disregard me and put me away.

I am so tired of being pushed aside and forgotten.

I am so tired of being the burden.

I am so tired of being the problem.

I am so tired.

I’m so tired and I can’t do this anymore.

I tried so hard but I begged and begged for someone to take my hand and help me,

Anything,

Please I just need help and support I can’t do this alone and I

Am so tired of only hearing about how that makes other people feel because

I don’t want to live

And they don’t want to hear about it

Because it’s too much of a bother.

I’m so tired of being shunted onto professionals who tell me I should try to get out there and make friends when they all just turn their backs again.

I’m so tired.

I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t keep telling myself that I deserve to live when not one other person can agree long enough to take the five minutes I need of face to face contact to feel real anymore.

I can’t do this.

I’m invisible.

I’m not real.

No one ever needed me.

I’m done.

I loved you and you told me to fuck off.

I loved you and you used me and then fucked me over and then blamed me for everything

I loved you and you took my family and the nephew who I loved more than anything away from me in some sick fucking “leaving the nest” bullshit.

I’m sorry I ever tried to reach out to you.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.