Elucidating Questions

The only thing about tears is that no one is affected.

No one sees them.

I don’t do anything else. Every thought just makes more tears.

Hiding away from thought in the place where I can be feel nothing brings out the terrible.

My options are to cry or to be done.

If I feel the pain I feel and acknowledge that no one would help me, not then or now or ever

I just want to die in this hole I fell into.

It’s all I want so I’m not afraid.

I wonder if he got to the same point,

Or if by living I’m proving I can do it or I’m just being selfish.

I hear his voice even when it’s not part of the song,

I wanted to believe he was taking care and watching

But if this is all nothing

Then no one is watching

And I just want to go to a place where I never have to wake up again.