Elucidating Questions

They wondered why, but they don’t know my name. They haven’t properly met me yet, they don’t know this one.

I’ve been calling, but guilt

And I’ve been trying to break through, but guilt

Tell me when they feel guilty do you feel pain?

Tell me, do you always feel guilty?

Tell me why did you draw a circle without any of the good things that you could feel when with someone and

Then become so bitter when the circle was broken and then, leave them standing in the dark.

Don’t think I can’t taste it I am too old to not taste it to not feel that tone or hear it are you not surprised that all I see is users

Are you not surprised that all this old one can see is

You don’t understand the magic, you’re scared.

You don’t understand why, and you’re scared.

I told you I’m too old.

I know you’re scared.

Have you ever lain in your bed and shrunk away from the air as tears stream down and been so scared of everything

Have you ever realised where you were being led and managed to get to the point of it and realised

It failed last time.

Have you ever looked down in the masses that wait for a word of something

Of whoever

Of whatever

And realised, nothing they say is anything they want to hear

Have you ever stared down into those faces that go on for miles and wondered how could you possibly reach them all

With the core

With the one word that is always on all of their lips

Love

No one not one even when the messenger isn’t speaking to the warrior and the judge isn’t listening to time or music or time isn’t listening to the watchers

Love.

Love.

Love

Damn it love.

And she sits under my feet and she whispers,

Do you love me?

And I whisper back, yes.

But when I run home I go straight to the sky.

Because I realised,

That by changing what love meant, and making it hollow

Or attached to rules or strings or anything

When love is love

It is an intangible feeling that should be expressed and shown,

But they broke it.

Hid the loudest part of it, the only part I would dare to repeat,

No one ever tried to learn how to love.

It’s the only way I know how to teach.

And if you ask how could I know or personify or speak as something or someone or anything so old,

Because I’m older than that.

And because all they can do is write about how much it hurts.

Look at all those notes you left for not yourself but him, if he was reading it.

Just in case.

Because you wanted to warn him,

It was happening again.

And it doesn’t matter if you take the music away, the sun is still on

The sky still rose with the moon the sun still rose with the messenger

The ocean still sat at the edge and watched as

The warrior the hourglass the scythe and the judge were

In a line

And they all said

Love.

But I am very old

The pain in the spine and the weight of the wings and the things that say

Well you know

Anything

Everything

It gets so very tiring sitting alone in silence and making friends with memories

While leaving out your own for you know it will wake them

It gets very heavy,

Holding on to a sentence that goes on for miles and never seems to end.

Soon you begin to wonder

Where did the sense go?

Where is the reason?

Well, if neither has been found

Then neither exist.

Do they?