Elucidating Questions

He turns it on as if it is a switch leading me in directions that make me think that maybe this time,

If only all I wanted was one perfect night.

He turns it off just as quickly, pointing fingers saying it’s my fault saying I am the one who has misunderstood he says it’s me

It’s not him.

But I’ve loved him in spite of the way he uses my body and then turns me out like a cheap whore and I must be cheap,

The cost of a smile and some words.

Easy.

Then comes the months afterwards the months that go on like years as I try to understand the phrase

Players only love you when they’re playing

And I try so hard to step out of stereotypes and the words spoken by voices hurt and assumptions but he looked at me like that and

He also spoke of who he would rather be with, he also never considers the mess he leaves me in

Why am I nothing to everyone why does no one see me?

Why does he leave me here day in and day out why did he never see me when I stood as close as I could and screamed

I love you

I need you

I want you close to me

No one heard.

Screaming into the emptiness left behind by the blue bird and the wolf.