Elucidating Questions

Life goes on, like I never existed.

The easily forgotten, the brushed aside.

The realisation that I am trapped by the possibility.

That I cannot move because love goes to waste and in expressing it no one ever understands me.

Is it real? Was it ever real?

The constant assumption that I have the capacity to do the same thing all humans have the capacity to do when I do not.

He will never know the agony of realising how truly trapped I am.

That I cannot go that I have to stay or else what if and I don’t want to cause anyone pain.

This fucking stalemate that leaves me with no freedom and him with everything.

He will never know the meaning of just how much freedom I gave up for him.

That I could have been free to go, to finally know why,

And I can’t.

Because he’s more important than I am.

So I stay in the box. An unselected freefall into nothing.

At least I know why I’ll never be good enough.