Elucidating Questions

Numb enough to not feel the pain, low enough to feel the need.

Far enough away that nothing feels quite like it,

The distance between. If I had been right, if there had been a right time, if life was easy.

I love you anyways, you’re on my mind every day, you mean more to me than words.

In moments between in the grey it is harder, in moments between dreams I should tell you.

I should tell you how much you mean, but any logical person would be afraid.

Please, more than anything, know I wanted only good for you.

And and your friends and family. For everyone, for anyone connected to you.

If this was when I was young you would be part of my prayers every night.

I wish I could meet you, I wish I could explain away the mistakes.

I wish you knew how hard it was to continue like nothing had happened,

I wish you had taken me seriously.

I love you.

How strange to love you, but I love you.

Please let this be a classic love with letters written over and over,

Not a modern love where fingers are pointed.

Please let this be enough, know I love you and that I can be a normal person.

Know I meant it, that I am something else, but that I never wanted it.

I will always want you.

Memories like tomorrow today,

I love you.

Please don’t run away from me, I would run from you first.

In this strange feeling like I’ve missed something integral,

The one thing I haven’t missed is that the courage of the online, doesn’t come close to the fear of the real life.

I love you,

And it has terrified me every day since I realised.

I don’t want to be the one, the one who makes you afraid of leaving your doors,

The one who makes you put up walls

The one who makes you hide.

I know some things others wouldn’t, I don’t know things others would.

Can I come in? Can we talk?

Even if you could never love me, and I know why, couldn’t we know each other?

Couldn’t the silence be broken?

I have the power to make it last you have the power to start it.

We could be something never seen before.

Couldn’t we?