Elucidating Questions

It’s this question, seems to come every day, what do you want?

What do you want?

Like a fool before fools were made, the stupid one who didn’t realise there was something to want.

This stupid one who didn’t realise that there was an issue. This stupid thing that mistook being human.

The sharp pain in the face every time like a hit to the head for whatever reason. It must be justified, or it wouldn’t be felt. Or it wouldn’t be done.

What do I want?

Any thought of it and the immediate guilt and shame and regret.

I want love

No can’t have love tried to show it didn’t do it right can’t get love love others only watch it can’t ask for it.

I want someone

No can’t want someone if there is a someone then they would be forced and that isn’t the right way must never ask for it.

I want…

Can’t get the thought out stomach churns disgusting greedy stupid nasty lazy person who could ask for anything will never again, think that is something I should ask for

I cannot ask, will not, and will never, have an answer for the question, nothing to want send it elsewhere surely someone else could benefit more and as nothing always nothing and these mistakes

No not the start every damn shot the wrong fucking words every time every time never

Ever.

Ever again.

To feel it even to feel love for someone anyone ever never again no one would ever want it the feeling only if it comes with what they want they never wanted me

Thus I must be a nightmare come alive.

Thus the wishes I thought I could bring, the prayers answered,

A trick of the mind.

I just wanted to be more than a gear,

And that is all I will not stand out of line.

Humble apologies, I remain nothing.