Elucidating Questions

Imagining up unanswered unanswerable questions to agonise.

Trying to explain that regardless it’s just a human body.

I see beauty everywhere but here. I look up and feel people who pass by should have a good day and I wish there were no adversary,

I never understood why it had to end in violence and sadness.

Overcame the thoughts of it. It seemed like every creator was a creator with an opposite,

It seemed until the pieces of stories were filled in,

And realisation that the true characters the same, and it could happen any second,

That’s a true fear. It simply drowns out, as the crow lands and causes a feeling

And then flies away.

What you need will leave.

My true enemy is silence, now you are the bad guy, but the truth hurts.

This silence that followed from day one on, the day one that starts way back when or some other time.

Justify why we should have done this, and there is no such thing.

People have conversations with other people, there’s no conversation with me.

People have support and give support, but as always,

The answer is:

We’re okay.

No, you are okay,

And the other side is fine with that, the being left behind.

While it’s like a joke again, you did this to yourself.

The things I must apologise for, I did and no one heard.

The things they made up that I apologised for regardless, I did and no one cares.

The things I need, when I never wanted or needed things.

When all I wanted, was one word.

And now all I want is to know someone can hear me.

Can you hear me? And if I write the next part it turns sour.

We did as we were told and played the game.

So he could keep playing, but he wouldn’t play.

So now we play alone, in silence every day.

Why is it missing? Why is that missing?

The town beneath the seas with the lands that breathe beneath. Fields unseen, lands untouched.

So how could such a place be forgotten and why was it told? When they sail away and farther than before, and the cameras that surround the outside of the inside, they have seen all yet

Worlds unseen by the eyes of the eyes, what cannot be perceived by anything seen only by those who could see it

It’s not that island or this island, the castles in the skies, the palace in the waves, the temple in the shallows, the roads that lead,

Inevitably, to the seas.

After all, billions before, but we will never escape the water.

Once the water runs out, once the air takes it away, once the river is empty, once the stars no longer shine,

It will continue to flow beyond the ending, the valley of the heavens, the mountain of the climbers, the island created,

I see in my eye, as these old stories, converge and deny. Sent by the messenger,

To the world, the gentle melodies of the pieces of instruments, even as the bass drum sounds,

They say he started it, the fight for all for all for one for one.

Locked in a cage beneath the waves, the wings shoot out into the cage’s claws, the teeth fall out and the arm reached out

And no hand connected, to the siren in the cage, justify being lonely

Justify the breath taken, as the head hit the air. No fins or tails, the sun above, swimming to land to try to find out what

But the hallways beneath the waves with the pictures that spoke, and the forgotten feeling,

Reading the spell before it was cast if only anything was as simple as that,

Not done to them but by around them

Staring at the colours and thinking, there’s only something missing,

If there’s no one to smile along side.

But the feelings are so hollow these days as stumbling down a street with no thought and the only feelings are pain,

To turn it off makes it seem like everything must be okay,

To acknowledge it would bring about no good and only pain.

They leave me alone, they leave every time.

Can someone hear the cries

Of the lonely orca?

If you scream when he touches he never stops coming to tell of the things you could have heard

We both know how it ends because all ends end the same. The ocean to be pushed into, the falling down the mountain.

One side into the ocean that continues for what always looks like infinity,

Until the closer you get there is things that have not been shown or seen before.

The anxiety of being above, when the wings aren’t in control, the feeling of looking down.

Safer if I could just swim, safer if there was no cold or tired.

Even above the ground that same fearful looking of maybe too high but

The beauty of the ocean frozen in space, the islands coming into view as the lands are revealed.

Regardless of time or what to look down on a feeling of

Yes, there are cities there, but the forest calls and the fields tumble and the connection to a land untraveled.

I forgot the story, but I remembered the boy

Of ravens I could read it again, refresh the mind, return to his name as he was a spirit

I don’t remember, I don’t know where it went, somewhere before. A gift received, the pages somewhere

And the voice of this, the one who I still miss every day, not a day goes by without him on my mind too,

These words that weave backwards and forwards.

Can’t know what I am, or can I?

And with knowing it, simply the music thinks medicine after all the doctor is also apparently that.

Sometimes you stand on the lines and see the fires that are burning.

While those who have vacation every day, we can take everything from those.

Sometimes you walk the line above home, and beside it and below it where nighttime is a place that can be seen.

Sometimes you step on the crack to hold it together as the ocean whistles a tune.

Sometimes inland, and sometimes far far far away.

And sometimes, right beside.

Give hope to those who have no hope, anything,

I see you, and I feel nothing but understanding.

This situation out of control,

They won’t but I will,

You’re alive, and you deserve to see a better world than this.

Sometimes words don’t come clear, and it’s just fine how it is.

Sometimes there is a terrible place that needs to feel something.

I only want to look one place, and that’s just how it is.

It doesn’t change the pain.

This war I don’t understand. This battle I tried to make go away by falling silent and just listening.

No one ever wants to hear the other side.

Yet it’s hard to say whether it’s true or not. All the things she said.

Either she was the single most dangerous person I ever was thrown in the path of, or she is a liar.

Either she is dying, or she is a liar.

And if she is dying I still want her to get better. It’s not ever the thought of deserving of it, it’s the thought of it can’t be helped.

Then the thought of I wish it could be.

She’d still sell me down the river. She’d still come up with these reasons why it’s my fault.

There was a time we talked about everything, that it felt like a family,

It hurts every time, dangled before on a string. These people who have this thing I don’t understand.

They say you’ll always need them, so in an attempt to find a family

And the ones who kept calling and talking about home…

The fantasy of having friends and family. The fantasy of feeling loved and accepted.

Apologies never matter, when I sit waiting to apologise for everything, and apologies never come.

She said she loved me, she believes I am bad luck it would seem.

So I wished Fortune would smile upon them.

While she sits on top of something that would make it easier, and it’s still my move to go there.

But I’ll never trust her or her or him or him.

By this time last year

This year never happened.

My heart is not home, it screams at the sun, it cries for the moon.

It stares at Jupiter. It waits for Saturn.

The lover screaming, she doesn’t say it’s my chance.

She says it was everyone else’s.

Regardless, I tried. That. That thing I keep forgetting.

The start of the wandering to try to find what I was looking for.

I knocked on every door, trying to find a raison d’etre.

The list grew shorter, of all the people who could have said something,

Not my choice. Human choice in every thread that pulled and tied and wrapped and bound.

So it’s more likely, they don’t have to try, but they do.

Because they’ve been watching it pour. All that happens is the batteries run out.

After all the children of the children of the immortals.

The fire is too hot, the disguise is the green that is hidden in,

Every second of every day, don’t want to think about anything.

The memories.