Elucidating Questions

Rat races of places with too many faces time past previously in the future to tell stories of the chaos of reality

Gods and goddesses splashing uselessly as the unfortunately unfortunate existing exists

Sons my sons

Are you human or bird

Man or goat

Human or god

What does the blood bleed into the new life the diluted potential diluted every which way

Decades

Fronds of futility in this madness crashing to the ground

Too long too old

Somewhere they sit in chairs discussing the discussable with decadent fingertips and succulent strawberries betrayed to their lips

Bitten dead life

Do you play a song and then dance in the forest

The winged tiny feet are not my ally

They shoot without asking questions first

Writing written threads into the blanket of present that becomes the past as quickly as the threads are tied

Snip

And weighed

Generations generally genuinely guessing

They have the moment

That is gone in an instant

Left in the threads of before before the ink has dried.

Can’t you call her?

When it’s night and the hours are eating you alive and the thoughts are flowing like a broken dam or a glacier thawing

When they won’t leave you with a moment’s rest and the clock ticks

Wouldn’t it be best if you called her?

Wouldn’t it be best to lean on someone?

I hope you have someone

When the nights are too long and you’re lost in lost sleep

I think you should call someone

To keep you company

I did what I was allowed to do

Thought of you and there you are

I don’t understand all of it

But wrapped in time watching cautiously

As I woke up

Yes I was worried and then he was up all night

Don’t blame me

Try not to blame me

Trying not to blame myself

I want to ask if he’s okay

What’s on his mind

What kept him up

I wish someone would stay with him so he doesn’t have to be alone

But he has friends I’ll never have

All I want to give him is love and understanding

Don’t tell him anything else

Don’t send him anything else

Please keep him safe

You

Yes you you arrived just in time

Of course you did

Go check on him he’s freaking me out

Go check on him please he’s freaking me out

Go fill his head with love and affection and respect and understanding and listening and accepting and please

I don’t know why he’s freaking me out

I don’t know why these days happen or these moments happen when I worry

Is it the thing I thought it was but the different thing

And again

But again

Also

I don’t know what he needs or what is happening or how he is

I wish I could ask him how he is

I want him to say

I’m okay

I want to ask if he’s okay and hear him say yes

But I don’t even know why I worry

But I’m worried

Can someone who knows him please tell him he’s wonderful and loved

Someone go check on him

I don’t know why I worry

I have a question for you

Renewal

この言葉

貴方に付けて良い?

Why does it take more effort to die than to live?

Instincts keep me moving

Through these days I want nothing of

I can feel you hanging in the wings

Yesterday you caressed my cheek and whispered the words

Won’t you leave me with the honour of being the one to take your life

貴方からだけの台詞

だから貴方だっと

I knew

How to describe your stretching neck and your whittled fingers from stretches of ceder

How to describe the facelessness of you

The mask of the joker to hide the horror

But why

Why does it take more effort to die than to live?

It’s more efficient

って言うったら

人生って

No it’s not 人

What efficient

You see I’m met with these strange answers and I don’t really know

If there’s an efficiency to living

Then what is living for?

Love

You see he answers in strange ways I can’t explain

If living is for love

Then what is love for?

But you don’t know the answer to that question

You wish only to contact with life

To connect with it

And take it

And then put it somewhere else

Renewal

It hurts me to think about how much he must have not wanted to be here

That he’s not here

I wish I could help him

I wish I could have helped him

Life is only so hard because time refuses to flow in any other direction

At least I have the reassurance

Your hand on my face in my hair your not face too close your arms too tight

Someday you’ll have it

Because at the end of the day you’re all the same selfish shits you always were

But I still love you

Seemingly suspended by nothing

Little worms that float in the air

Invisible strings

Can you imagine a life like that

Where all you had to do was hang from a wire until you reached something

The ground?

Or just floating in the air.

No identity crises when all you are hangs from a string

They don’t even have to know they’re alive

Why do we?

The leaves falling around them

Swinging in the wind

Hanging in the sun

They don’t burn

Why do we?

The tree just stands

The worms just hang

The sun is just warm

Jupiter suddenly needs attention

So there it is

Love you

No none of my joints are bent the way they should

Trying to keep as little life in me as possible

Because I’d rather someone who wants it have it.