Elucidating Questions

As I fly like a child through the leaves hearing them crunch

In a goodbye until the light has come back again later

They go to sleep knowing it will come back

They pile up to my knees and I fall in the blanket crunching softly and sigh

Like the snow it catches my heavy body and I let go only once or twice

To the loving of the nature as it should be as opposed to the trapped body I’m in

Free in the fallen

Feeling their life ended absorbing back where it came from

From the earth they grew to the earth they return

In a moment I feel free

In a moment other humans look at me and judge what I’m doing as strange

I don’t care what they have to say they know nothing

Obsessed with their power and their things

Of the simple pleasures of dancing with the leaves as they lay piled beneath their trees

As the autumn has taken hold

And the rain begins to fall

Well that must have been fun to watch

Was it not?

I think I think sometimes I yell at the sun before he sets

But he’s stuck with me like I’m stuck with him

He can’t see the moments at night when it was so cold and all I wanted was a light

Heated by Zeus

See you can deny he exists but our world has become obsessed

With power

Just saying

If the power goes out we think we can’t last

And everyone just wants to be better than everyone past

And I think at some point watching

The stupid useless apes we’ve become

Probably two thousand years is enough time in a prison to learn not to rape all the ladies

Also men sometimes

Also his daughter

Claimed wisdom though she wasn’t all that wise

Now though I do wonder

Hermes told me a secret

That they all wish that watching in silence did something good

But they

Accidentally

Caused Rome

And that was a fatal mistake

Locked away by fate

Celibate? No just doesn’t get attached.

How do you create music thinking like that?

Caught in the act I bring it back and there’s a pause as we wait for the cause and he reaches silently for something unseen

You are the king of music but I can’t be your queen because I haven’t been let in to the world that you offer

And I never learnt how so it’s gone now

After all is said and done I go back to my second dream of teaching the children words they are forced to learn by the consuming

Power

Of the language they accidentally created

And that’s all I can do

I really wish I could be sedated

Cause I’m a stupid star

Watch me dance until the world goes

Boom boom boom

Get out of my fucking music

Testing testing

Are you fucking kidding me? Again?

Can you not wait three minutes and thirty fucking seconds so I can angrily change your song without having to run from mine?

Next it’ll be him but I’m not angry at him who knows why

But fuck you

Forget the sad bullshit I’m just angry and ugly

That’s all I am

And you’re fucking perfect lucky you

And you get everything lucky fucking you

You think you’ve worked so hard

Bull shit

One fucking note about how it’s all so hard for you and you want to give it up

And I’ll laugh like a maniac and throw all your fucking music away

AND THERE HE FUCKING IS

WHEN WE WERE FUCKING SEVENTEEN LOL

Kill me

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH AND I’M DONE

Well that was obvious

Guardian silent but deadly they started too early and he ran in and yelled

Off they went

My dreams never have an ending and I always wake with this wish I could go back simply because it’s incomplete

But so am I so what’s the surprise?

My hands hurt

My fingers hurt and writing is painful

Waking up is painful

Being awake is painful

If only I could be sedated for the rest of my life

Live in dreams

Never wake up and just waste away to nothing fast asleep

I’d be happy then

That’s all I want

To be left alone to sleep forever then die

I don’t want to wake up anymore

That’s not something that goes away

I dare every car to hit me

Every person to snap

I do it every day

Silently wishing something will kill me so I don’t have to

But I’m always safe

Isn’t it pointless though?

Everything

I don’t want to be punished for doing the one thing I want to do

So I don’t

There’s a feeling I don’t like

Imagining him living out his day

It feels angry and hot

Sad and thick with pain

I want to make it go away

Because he doesn’t deserve it

But he left me here

I can forgive a murderer but not a

What exactly anyways

Why am I stuck to him?

Fuck off and leave both of us alone why don’t you

Stop bringing him into our lives and reminding us he’s here

We know

I know

Whispering his name

Or there it is

Or that person had his eyes

Or oh there’s that again

It doesn’t matter does it?

Throwing him into our dreams

Or he just so fucking happened to have a picture

Of where

Call me maybe

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Was mixed

Well known the wanted the aimed the looked for

The lake and the joker

Who hides in the narrator’s score

The friend I don’t have the friend I never met

The biggest holes in my life the biggest regret

Sleeping in waste lands with young people and a light I can’t deny

A star who I love

A fire I admire

A soldier I pity

A princess I know

A prince who hides

A boy who let go

Sleeping in shadows

Chewed on by vultures

The wolf that stalks

The tiger

The glow

The light that I think of the darkness I chase

The soldier’s a queen now even though she lacks grace

She carries a bomb she is holding too tight

The wind what will whip the shores through the night

And into the mists the monsters will run

Into the marsh beneath the hidden sun

As their feet sink into earth that swallows them whole

They are strangers I will never know

Goodbye now goodbye and rest through the night

Tomorrow’s a nightmare

Try not to wake with a fright.

He jumped out of the pile and straight on to the floor

The time the love the wishes

The love that is shown in time

Wolf dreamer

Carrier of flame

Dreams coming true

For whom?

Do I make a wish when you fall on the floor?

I wish he would see me for one day more and see that I’m worth it and that he can love me and love me and say something so I can love him too

But there’s the sky and the lake and the ocean too and he’s firing his gun and they’re about to kiss and I

Don’t have any new love or people to hail

I know that outfit it’s when I die

I know who he’d shooting and I know no matter how hard I try I

Die in his hand as he watches but doesn’t remember why it hurts when the hair flies and I spin in death and I scream no more

Finally free as I fall to the floor

Thank God I think as I bleed out and die

I never have to look myself in the eye

Ever again

So what of a wish?

When my future holds nothing but this emptiness and emotion I can’t have

Nothing I’ll ever know and nothing I ever wanted

You can’t save me wishing man I tried so many times

The ace of hearts wins

The nine of hearts

Dies