Elucidating Questions

How do you say

I know

It’s okay

I’ve been there before

All the things that can happen

A mere start

Ah so that’s the thing

That thing

And I couldn’t be put out or upset or anything

To hear of anything happening

As these things happen so must those things be heard of

Don’t humble yourself by thinking your thing is less important than anything

Your thing is now

Just tell me

How could, in life

Life lived be not important?

To tell of your life is to tell me

This moment is being lived by you

Once it is gone it will be gone and then

And then another moment will be being lived by you

But I know this moment seems it will never end

Because it won’t

You’ll be someone else by the end of it

Your death will be recorded in the torn vestige of the one left in your place

How do you say

I know

It’s okay

I’ve been there before

All the things that can happen

A mere start

Ah so that’s the thing

That thing

And I couldn’t be put out or upset or anything

To hear of anything happening

As these things happen so must those things be heard of

Don’t humble yourself by thinking your thing is less important than anything

Your thing is now

Just tell me

How could, in life

Life lived be not important?

To tell of your life is to tell me

This moment is being lived by you

Once it is gone it will be gone and then

And then another moment will be being lived by you

But I know this moment seems it will never end

Because it won’t

You’ll be someone else by the end of it

Your death will be recorded in the torn vestige of the one left in your place

It’s so strange

I’ve thought about it several times it’s so strange

Without a plan for where to be in five years’ time you make a silent promise to these three little lives

You bring infant animals into your home,

They are terrified

But, you love them.

They just don’t know it yet.

All at once you’ve brought home three lives who will only see you or anyone else who happens by

For the rest of their lives

You can’t own them,

They are, in their separate existences, wild

As wild as any other human on the street

You may be bigger

You may keep them

But you never own them, their lives are as their own as any life is

Looking at Spinel

She’s the smallest, but I think of the smallest creature with a brain

It’s just for moving, just for moving

Yet these tiny lives who have found me

They each have something

They have something that no one else has

Spinel doesn’t run when I pick her up, she burrows into my hair

Stop eating my hair you mite

Wanders up and down the blanket

Exploring and whispering her tale all the way

But she hides, is still scared when I enter the room

Tanzanite is different

She greets me with whistles and purrs when I put her home.

The bowl is hers

No the bowl is not yours Tanzy you have to share

The water bottle is also hers

No

The toys are probably hers too

She cuddles.

Falls fast asleep and tells me all about it when I wake her up by shifting

She dances for her supper

She hops all about as if she’s never seen such a grand feast

When she sees one every day around the same time

Ruby

Quiet little Ruby

Spinel and Tanzanite go racing and racing around the cage and

Poor Ruby wants to take a nap in the tunnel on their race track

She cries when I pick her up

But she cuddles like a snug little pup

She won’t accept treats from my fingers but will eat them if I’m not looking and she

Definitely doesn’t like belly rubs

She loves belly rubs

She does not

She does

Three tiny lives who will live their lives within my life and it happened all in a flash like

These are for me

This is the story I’m telling the umbrella

It’s so strange

But I love them

And I’ve promised them

And no matter how bad the day was

One of my babies will pur in my ear at the end of the day

Is it really here and now?

The planetless nights

Hello beautiful

I still feel you beating over there

If I turn my head like so I can feel the rhythm of your heart

And knowing it’s there I can turn back to the obscured sun

And wish I didn’t know anything

About anything

I will never be glad I came

Don’t tell me lies

And the blue lights may fade in the helicopter seeds falling to the ground

How to say I was supposed to be chasing a dream when the dream died long ago

I don’t know how I’m still waiting here in this terrible existence

And isn’t life just too long?

The nostalgic pain as the language flows from one to the other

So long

So long

It’s so long

ママだったね

But if I can stare at your burning form why can they not?

Do you choose not to burn these eyes from my head so I can still gaze and think

Beautiful

Beautiful

I love you beautiful

But look at the shape of you clearly etched out in the smoke

I wish I could see him

When I’m staring at the sun

I will look at you until the day I die

Or you take the blessed sight from me

So you will always know my love

My love

I love you

Found you

Found who?

Nothing and no one despite searching every crowd.

Searching for the songs I sang softly to the children in the night

I couldn’t say any thing isn’t about anyone

And I still see them

Hiding underneath the going of every day life

Reading silently to log for later

The preparation for what comes

What comes and what may

That nothing is glued together in the twisting changing future

And yet everything else is on such a clear trajectory

Doesn’t that seem odd

Things just don’t ignite the way they did before

I keep hearing the drums never seeing

Thinking it’s the beginning but it’s already over

A blip on the radar throwing out the notes as if they came from no where

Nothing

How I miss you when you’re not

But when you are all I hear is

Like a piece torn from my soul

There’s a hole there’s a hole

How is it that it became so different

What piece were we?

How is it gone now?

And straight on till morning

They really are each a masterpiece to their own

Just listening just listening

I know the words but even without every song is a story about

From beginning to end and every string in between

Flowing in a river come alive by the notes

Hearing them bubbling below the surface and then

Like a rush to the surface the longing still fights wishing for

One more something

Just one more