Elucidating Questions

When I wake up

Well I know I’m going to be

I’m going to be alone

When I go out

Well I know I’m going to be

I’m going to be alone

And I have walked 500 miles

I have walked 500 more

Just to be the one who walked a thousand miles all alone

And you say only the lonely survive

But what does that mean to you?

When I would have walked those miles again to fall down at your stoop.

Just to fall down at your stoop.

A stoop is a front of a house which isn’t a deck a veranda or a porch.

It’s too small.

Like I’m too small.

I can’t imagine you reading my thousand miles or the hearing the piano I play.

There’s nothing to say.

I’m alone again today.

I don’t care what he says I still love you

And without knowing who you even is

He can come up with all these reasons and make it seem okay

But he’s a scared little boy and he’s afraid we’ll just keep getting hurt

I miss you

Every day I look your way but you don’t look mine

Do you even know where I am?

When I know just with a feeling

You’re so far away but I know

It doesn’t matter

Even if his paranoia is true

Even if he’s right

Even if you’re somehow awful

Well it just sounds like I’m trying to point out flaws and then gaslight you

I’ll still love you

I wish I could explain

I wish it made sense

I’m not saying you’re a bad guy but I can still love you congratulations to me

I’m saying he may think those things but I don’t have to because we’re not the same person

I’m saying I don’t believe it

I’m saying I still think you’re wonderful of course I do

Spreading something across the country

Just look at the moon

To know how much I love you

Just see how the moon hangs so perfectly in the sky

How she had to crash into the earth to find her place

How she shines a light of the night for those afraid of the dark

I still love you

It all looks so fake but I still love you

I hate myself

You’ll always be number one to me

You’ll always be above me

You don’t even care

But that’s my own fault

It’s interesting that these things keep coming

Related stories

Related but not the same

Where they always have a team

A family of sorts

My life is the same but different

When the evil spirits

When the twin souls

When the stories come alive

When there’s nothing to live for

At least I can hide away in stories that aren’t about me

At least I can hide

How to come to terms with

Twin soul

And the broken pieces

We’ve been living like this forever

You asked me to take over

Do you remember?

Basically basically

I just wish I could get out

I know

I’m sorry

We aren’t done yet

ねー猫

“The cat”

If only there was a name for you

If only people would acknowledge my existence

We’re stuck like this aren’t we? Revolving doors and you coming in with fur flying and claws

It’s not your fault he makes me angry. You’re just too blind to see how wrong it all is.

If the roles were reversed would I run to his side?

If someone approached you and said all they needed was love in order to keep living would you ignore them for a year and then go on tour and have a great time while ignoring them all along?

I’d like to think I’d be a better person than that.

You wanted to believe he’s a better person than that.

I’m sure if I was prettier and better and more important he would have cared

Don’t fight me on this, he’s a monster who is reveling in the pain he causes women and profiting from it. He doesn’t have a

I wish he’d reacted like the pretty man in the show we’re watching

I’m sorry we’re going to spend today all alone worrying about things that we can’t control

I’m sorry he doesn’t love me

I’m sorry he’s a selfish prick.

Name calling.

He runs around the country absorbing the love that they offer him and glutting himself on their money and love for him. He’s a selfish fucking prick.

What a disaster

He’s off enjoying

And my rent money is gone

Poof

It just goes to show

It just goes to show that I’m always in the wrong

No matter what I do

And Icarus is hooting in my ear

That he’s not the only one who crashed into the sun

And lived to fight another day

It would be nice if he would fight

But I have more important things to do

Like crying about the desperation and impossibility of my situation

And there’s no one to answer

What am I going to do?

What am I going to do now?

There’s no one to sit with me as the night wears on and I don’t know what to do.

There’s no one here.

And he got to play all night and it just proves

I’m a monster

And I deserve this

And I wish I hadn’t given myself a reason to love because I want to die to badly

I just want to die

I don’t know what to do and I’m all alone and I can’t ask for help because I’m an adult and I should have myself figured out

I don’t know what to do

I’m all alone

And he’s safe and sound

And no matter what I do I’m drowning

And no one cares about me

Winter is a tall woman

Her face is shadowed by her cloak

She picks her way across the land

Her son Jack Frost dancing upon plants lakes roofs

She stands formidable

Her fingers are impossibly long

Yet in her chilling embrace

She warms the earth with her cloak

I am here

She whispers, to every frozen tree

Her breath like an icicle

Beautiful until it’s in your skin

Her sister enters dancing

Her petal-like dress flowing as she twirls

Her hands spread out as she dances,

Waking the sleeping with her song

She stands in a field green

She dances in a clearing

The snow at her feet dissipates

And tiny flowers grow at her toes

Long limbs and graceful movements

Her cautious sister nods as they pass

She pulls her cloak over her ears

And heads south

Goodbye sweet sister

Spring does sing

I will follow you

Watch as the vines grow up my knees

And the blooms begin to show

Take heed sweet sister our path so long

So long sweet sister

She is already gone

To usurp her brother

Who stands staring at the land

His gaze crumbling leaves

His grip silencing the summer

She goes to put him to sleep

Lady Winter whispers

Sleep now dear brother your time here is done

Rest for your restful, find the peace in the peace you have created

Her brother looks blankly as she approaches from the North

They died

He says

And I will sing them softly to their sleep, that their young may rise when our sister arrives at last

At last

She whispers