Elucidating Questions

I wonder if you know what it’s like

To be touched by pain

To feel it press against you like a corporeal being

Do you know what it’s like to have no bruise

And yet a bruise is being pressed over and over

Have you felt fire on your feet, perhaps something that expands just pushing

Pressing

Poking

Stabbing

It’s not like a wave, I have waves they’re different

It’s like something has touched you, and that touch is pain

Do you know what it is to be poked and prodded by pain all day

And just wish it would finally stop?

There once was a human that loved the sun

And every day they met with as big of a smile and as cheery an answer as possible

Sometimes the sun was too close

Both of them were aware this was the Earth’s doing and yet the human became annoyed at the sun’s closeness

And every year as the days grew longer the human spent less time in the sun

But as the Earth tilted back again and the days became shorter

The human felt loss as the sun’s light disappeared

And so the human grew fonder in the absence

And as the days became their shortest the human cried out for the sun

So the Earth tilted once more

And the cycle continued

Did you miss me? I didn’t I’ve been here the whole time.

Supi died, fuck cancer

I just hate this god damn writer so much.

Like I just want to write without having to wait 30 seconds for the next line to appear

This is so fucking counter intuitive

I have short term fucking memory loss by the time the next line appears I’ve forgotten what I’m writing!

Heck.

Heck, heck, heck.

Not writing poems has been fun, I did not stop thinking poems

Because I will never stop creating until I find you

Just trying to figure out the rhythm.

Hey, at least Fall is here on time this year.

Blessed Earth’s a wobbly girl day! (Yes it was yesterday, but I was bed bound yesterday)

I bet the sun sees in like one billion frames per second and the planets just be out here wobbling around

That would be so funny to watch

Maybe solar flares are the sun laughing so hard it choked and spat out some fire because it is fire incarnate.

You know, some other impossible possibilities for the universe to think about

Dear universe

I love you

I’m a lot stronger but I don’t think the trauma made me stronger

I think I made me stronger.

Still a sensitive, emotional, being, but I feel less bewildered by my feelings than I used to be.

I can say “hey I’m doing this cause I’m hurt right now”

I don’t wallow in negative emotions and then almost end up drowning.

Started viewing them like waves that come, accepted that sometimes they hit you at strange moments.

I don’t like to say I’m adult. I’d much rather stay with Artemis and Apollo in adolescence, always curious and wondering, never sure, but, I’ve matured.

Situations seem so different now I’m watching from these eyes.

I kind of want my dreams to be real

Every night I dream of this dark man

This great being I am trying to return to

He is sometimes beyond the planets

Through a Labrinth

Down a dark hallway

Inside a mirror of chaos to be drawn out

He wants me, like I am returning home to him

He greets me with open arms

He is warm and I long to return to his embrace

But dreams are fleeting and I do not remember his face

I do not remember his words

His voice

I wish I was going to see him, at the end of all this

That I was some Persephone with Hades awaiting my return

I want my death to be me returning to love forever

Oh great mother, I don’t know why they harvest you

I don’t know why they consume you

I don’t know why they break you

I don’t know why they take you for granted

One of the two things that’s always there in our lives

We celebrate the sun in various ways at various times for weeks

And give her but one day

A footnote, when every day we should be grateful

Acknowledge that she is all we will ever have

All we will ever know

We should be protecting her

Studying the intricate patterns that keep her all in one piece

We came from her

We much cherish her

Great mother Earth

I love you